The Sortings
by Aquaphobe
Summary: 'Oh you may not think I'm pretty, but don't judge on what you see, I'll eat myself if you can find a smarter hat than me. So put me on! Don't be afraid! And don't get in a flap! You're in safe hands (though I have none) for I'm a thinking cap' The individual sortings of each and every notable HP character, into their rightful houses.
1. Ronald Weasley

**A/N:** This is my newest way of procrastinating over all of my college work, as well as my current writers block... Ah, well. I'll get on top of it all eventually.

Maybe.

**Disclaimer:**I do not and will not ever own Harry Potter.

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'_Now slip me snug about your ears, I've never yet been wrong, I'll have a look inside your mind and tell where you belong!_'

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**Ronald Weasley**

_Ah, another Weasley. I know just what to do with you..._

Please, please, please, please, _please—_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Blimey... Really?

Hah, in your face, Fred and George!

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**A/N:** I'd love it if you'd leave a review! Feel free to make character requests, too!


	2. Hermione Granger

**Disclaimer:**I do not and never will own Harry Potter.

**Hermione Granger**

_Hmm, what have we here? New blood, eh? And brains too, it would seem._

Oh, wow! How extraordinary! You know, I've read all about you in—

_In 'Hogwarts, A History'. Yes, I know. It's all right here, in your head. But that isn't the real issue right now. The real issue is which of the four Houses to put you in... _

_Ah, right, then...You're ambitious and quick witted, I'll give you that. But Slytherin is not the place for you._

No, no, definitely not! I was thinking something more along the lines of—

_And loyalty you have in spades, for those who can appreciate you as you are. You're hard working, too. Still, I don't feel that you would grow to your full potential there._

I know that, too! Like I've been trying to say—

_Hmm, right. But wouldn't you make a fine Ravenclaw? Such a love for books, and such a hunger for knowledge! You were practically built for the House of the Eagle, child. And yet..._

Really, would you just_ listen! _All I wanted to point out is that—

_Yes, that's it. The one reason that Ravenclaw would not quite suit you. You're smart and you're quick, there's no doubt about that. Such a shame to waste such talent. But..._

I just want to be in Gryffindor!

_Okay. Well, then. Bravery? Yes - hidden right there behind the brains. Stubbornness? Positively so, from what I can see. Common sense? Barely a sliver. In that case, ought to be..._

_"GRYFFINDOR!"_

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**A/N:** Please review! Character requests will be noted!


	3. Draco Malfoy

**Disclaimer:** I do not and never will own Harry Potter.

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**Draco Malfoy**

_Well, this is hardly a difficult one._

Hey, wait, what do you—

"SLYTHERIN!"

...Yes, I knew it! Just wait until Father hears!

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**A/N:** Please review! Character requests will be noted!


	4. Neville Longbottom

**Disclaimer: **I do not and never will own Harry Potter.

**A/N: **Thank you for the reviews, guys! Much appreciated :D

And now, as per popular request...

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**Neville Longbottom**

_Ah, here we are! Another Longbottom, at long last. And... well, perhaps a little foggy and soggy around the edges, but really not too shabby. Given a bit of an airing out, you won't shape up too badly at all!_

H-hello, there.

_Hello, indeed! You've a fine history stored away in your family tree you know, boy? Not one house has missed a mentioning in your line, though from what I see your fate is already rather firmly decided._

Huh? What... What do you mean? Do you know which house I should be in, then?

_Now, now. Don't sound so nervous. Of course I know which house you should be in! You're quiet and shy, perhaps, but if you were only given a little more chance at growth, you'd go far. You have courage there, you know, if only it weren't buried beneath that mountain of expectations that you're hiding under._

C-courage? Oh. Oh, no, I really don't! I don't have any at all. My Grandmother said so!

_Well, lad, I have to say that your Grandmother clearly can't see what goes on inside your head – a right shame that is, too. Luckily, however, I _can_. And courage, you have._

N-no I don't! Not at all!

_Stubborn too, I see. You, Neville Longbottom, would do well in Gryffindor, where brave of heart dwell._

Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm no Gryffindor! I couldn't live up to that at all – that's not right!

_Well then, where on Earth do _you_ suggest? You're humble, and positively adverse to any sense of ambition, you've never particularly hungered for knowledge or wisdom, and while you are undoubtedly a loyal, hardworking individual, your lack of self confidence gives you very little drive to make friends or, for the time being, stand up for them!_

B-but I _can't_ go in Gryffindor, I just can't. I'm not brave or special. I'm not like my parents at all. I'm not good enough!

_But it's all there, and those traits that hide now will become clearer in time; all you need is the proper encouragement. Encouragement that, I'm afraid to say, you may not get anywhere else._

Well, I— I'm willing to risk that! I don't want to be in Gryffindor- you can't put me there!

_I'm afraid, my boy, I can and I will. The more I see, the more certain I am. Were I to put you in any other house, you would suffer—_

No, please—

_My boy, you are – if ever I saw one – a—_

"GRYFFINDOR!"

But... I could never be as brave as them.

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**A/N:** Please review! Character requests will be noted!


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